top of page

The Bully in Your Head

Do you hate yourself? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you suffer from self-hatred, you constantly put yourself down and feel like you aren’t good at anything.

Here, we’ll look at what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life, and how you can begin to take steps to stop it in its tracks.

Understanding self-hatred

Self-hatred is basically like having a little bully sitting inside your head. You will experience constant criticizing thoughts, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Just some common self-hatred thoughts you might experience include:

  • You’re a loser

  • Why did you even try, you knew you would fail

  • You aren’t good enough

  • Why can’t you just be normal?

You’ll put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to develop over time and is triggered by more than one event.

How can self-hatred impact your life?

Although self-doubt is healthy, self-hatred is not. If you struggle with self-hatred, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Often the feelings of self-hatred worsen over time and can lead to destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk.

Many people who suffer from self-hatred go on to develop destructive behaviors such as cutting themselves, developing eating disorders, or turning to drugs and alcohol. It can impact every aspect of your life including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better.

The impact it can have on your life makes it important to treat quickly, rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred?

Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life

  1. Learning how to tame your inner bully is a great first step to eliminating self-hatred from your life. So, when you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into positive ones. So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more positive your mind will become.

  2. You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you won’t be too caught up in your weaknesses.

  3. Work on developing self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the same way you would treat a good friend. Would you beat them up for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself?

Overall, self-hatred can be a powerful thing to overcome since it builds up over time. However, the tips above can help you to start to quieten your inner bully and develop a little more self-compassion.

Contact Us

If you are struggling with self-hatred, please schedule a consultation call to learn how we can help you


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page